Dave Carpenter

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Eye soar

2012-Nov-20 By Dave Carpenter

Don't be jealous, but I kind of rocked my eye exam last week. I always get nervous when I have to do the eye tests, especially the peripheral vision game.  That's the one where you stare straight ahead at a little dot on a screen, and then every time you detect some wavy lines in your field of vision, you click a handheld device that resembles the lovechild of an original Mac … [Read more...]

Joschi V

2012-Nov-8 By Dave Carpenter

I ate my dinner in the hotel's Gaststübli with the kind of enthusiasm that only a day's walk in the mountains can inspire. Rich local cheeses, a broth flecked with small dumplings, and an aromatic loaf of bread comprised a filling, if simple, meal. All washed down with a bottle of Melser Federweiss, a locally produced white. Joschi sat on the floor at my feet, his head resting … [Read more...]

Quote of the night

2012-Nov-7 By Dave Carpenter

Undoubtedly this gem from Jon Stewart: "We can call it. Mitt Romney has won most of the Confederacy." … [Read more...]

Joschi IV

2012-Nov-5 By Dave Carpenter

Travel, for all its potential to broaden one's point of view, can encourage primal fears that we desperately try to rationalize away. Incomprehensible tongues fall upon our ears, and we assume that we must be on the outside of a very inside joke. When faced with the unfamiliar, our well-intentioned but bumbling genetic structure offers up a generous serving of mistrust, fear, … [Read more...]

Joschi III

2012-Oct-31 By Dave Carpenter

I couldn't be certain of Joschi's particular destination, but mine would be the village of Weisstannen, by virtue of having earlier booked a room for the night. My new friend and I walked together the entire day. The path contoured high above the Seez, a charming river whose waters would eventually reach the Lake of Zürich. The belvedere offered commanding views to the head of … [Read more...]

And another

2012-Oct-31 By Dave Carpenter

Frat guy 2:  Last time I drank tequila I yacked in my carport. … [Read more...]

Oh, college

2012-Oct-31 By Dave Carpenter

I work on a college campus and overhear lots of entertaining conversations. Here's a gem for Halloween. Frat guy 1:  Dude, are you going to the haunted house? Frat guy 2:  Haunted house? Frat guy 1:  Yeah, they're like aphrodisiacs for women. … [Read more...]

Bloody health

2012-Oct-26 By Dave Carpenter

My workplace is offering free health screenings to its employees.  I don't plan to participate, though, because I already know what my blood work would look like: 5% Humulone 8% Ethanol 12% Caffeine 60% Capsaicin 10% Cynicism 5% Other … [Read more...]

A Poem for Wednesday

2012-Oct-24 By Dave Carpenter

There once was a monk with a thought, He dwelled on more often than not, "That nut I consumed Was but a legume!" Obmutescence serves food for thought. … [Read more...]

Camera Obscure

2012-Oct-22 By Dave Carpenter

We went to the Pompeii exhibit at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science over the weekend.  I truly enjoyed the display, but I'm always surprised at the number of people who need to photograph everything.  One individual took illicit video of one of the numerous informational shorts for several minutes, until a docent issued her one of those fantastically judgemental museum … [Read more...]

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Merch

Damn Good Books

Lager: The Definitive Guide to Tasting and Brewing the World’s Most Popular Beer Styles

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Meet the Author

I’m a writer, editor, homebrewer, traveler, and armchair philosopher.

I live in Fort Collins, Colorado, with my wife, two cats, a freezer full of green chiles, and a small armada of fermentation vessels.

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  • Cardinal sin
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